Chapter 5

I don’t really know what I expected from a party, but I’m sure it wasn’t whatever this was. The music was blaringly loud, so those in the front could probably hear it too. The alters seemed to have segregated themselves into groups like they had been when I first met them. The children were chasing each other around the furniture and weaving themselves between the adults. Bella was dancing on the coffee table with Bee, and Derek was leaning against the counter in the kitchen.

Luman and Juniper were standing together against the wall in the living room, and I couldn’t see Kendra at first, but later spotted her sitting in a large chair watching everyone else. I didn’t really know what I should be doing.

“Anna, come dance with us!” Bella shouted from the table. 

“I need her in the kitchen,” Derek called with a twang to his voice. He winked at me, and waved me over. 

I hurried over to the kitchen, and everything seemed to get quieter. 

“I can’t thank you enough for bailing me out there,” I said and thought for a moment about hiding under the counters.

“Wasn’t nothing. I know Bella means well, bless her heart, but these parties can be overwhelming,” Derek said. “You want a snack?” He held out a plate of cookies, and I could see some other snacks right behind him. I hesitantly took one, and looked back over to see Bella and Bee had managed to coax the kids to also dancing on the furniture. 

I took a small bite out of the cookie, and it was sweet and chewy, and made me feel like I was wrapped in a hug.

“How the hell?” 

“They’re based on the memories of our mom’s cookies,” Derek said. “Can’t eat them without also feeling like we’re back in our momma’s arms.” 

“She sounds incredible,” I said.

A pained look crossed Derek’s face, but it quickly disappeared. 

“She was a complicated woman,” Derek said. I could almost feel the air in the room get more tense for a moment, but it went away as the music seemed to drown it out. 

“Will all of this affect those in the tree house?”

“Probably. If nothing else, they’re gonna have these songs stuck in their head. I think it’s half the reason Bella likes to throw parties.” 

“I am getting a great deal of joy out of thinking about Rhys having this song stuck in her head.” 

“She can be pretty intense, but she’s really a sweetheart.” 

“I’ll believe that when I see it.” 

“Just think about it from her perspective. She’s trying to manage a life that she only has partial control over. She’s stressed with work and trying to do her best, but at the brain’s whims, everything she’s been working on can get messed up because someone else just forgot something that we were supposed to do, and when we are at our most stressed, the brain will just make a new person who’s suddenly in control of our lives for who knows how long, and may change the dynamic of the brain and our life. It’s a challenging juggling act, and she was just handed an unknown ball.” 

I guess, I hadn’t really thought about it like that. I hadn’t really thought about how my actions would be affecting their life as Jessica, and was just focused on trying to figure out how to handle my own affairs. Derek let me sit in silence as I thought about everything I had been focused on in however long since the last time I fronted. 

“Why are you allowing Avery to court you?” I asked. It was something that had been bothering me for a while. 

“Really from the olden times ain’t ya?” Derek said with a chuckle. “I’ll be honest, I’ve had my moments where I’ve wondered if we’d be better off without him, but he’s been supportive. He helped us through our transition, and when he’s in a good mood, he’s incredibly funny. 

“How long has it been since then?”

Derek had a thoughtful look, but never got back to me with an answer, and I could feel the pressure in the room growing more dense. 

“Hey, it’s a party, let’s focus on lighter topics?” 

“Sure,” I said, and stepped away as we both lapsed into silence. 

The music, lights and everyone felt oppressive, so I stepped out of the house. I sat down on the porch, and watched the hazy fields around the house. Was this really going to be my home from now on? Maybe I should just feel lucky that I get to be a part of this system. Most people didn’t get a second chance to be alive, and the heavens know I didn’t get a lot of opportunities in my own life. I could even see where the system could benefit from my help. 

“Why aren’t you at the party?” Rhys asked, and I swear I leapt a few feet into the air. I might be losing my mind, but I also swear I heard her chuckle. 

“It got to be a bit too much,” I said. 

“I don’t trust you.” Rhys sat down next to me on the porch. 

“I gathered that.” 

“I don’t know why the brain created you, and I don’t feel comfortable with how committed to this ghost story you are, but you haven’t fucked anything up yet.” 

“What are you trying to get at?”

“I don’t know if the brain is going to have you front again, and I don’t know what you are planning to do, but I’d appreciate if you'd communicate with me before doing anything.” 

“Rhys, I’ll do my best to work with you, Nyx, Singer and everyone else, but I don’t think I’ll be able to talk to you before everything I do. If I’m really an alter or part of this system, then this body’s life is mine just as much as it’s yours and I should have a voice in how our life is lived.” 

Rhys didn’t look pleased, and I thought she was going to start yelling at me, but instead she smirked. 

“I don’t know why the brain created you, but I gotta say, I appreciate it creating someone with a spine.” Rhys stood up, and took a few steps towards the tree house. “Can I ask though? What would you change?” 

“We should break off our courtship with Avery before anything else.” 

Rhys didn’t seem surprised, but instead thoughtful. 

“I’ve thought about doing that myself, but I was worried that Nyx would just take him right back when she fronts, or one of the other alters. Hell, I’m also worried that without him, we’d just have no one.” 

“You have to know that’s not a good enough reason to be with someone.”

“I can tell, you’re gonna be a pain in my ass. I hope whatever the brain’s doing is for the best.” Rhys walked away before I could figure out how I wanted to respond. 

Chapter 4

My not-quite hospital room greeted me again, and I went to hide in my cabinet. I felt like I had so much to think about, but it felt like my thoughts were orbiting a black hole, and every time that I got close, they would poof, and after a moment, I was just thinking about a pair of hazel eyes, and a gentle smile. 

I realized that I never got his name, and felt more despair than felt right for the situation. He was just a cute librarian, and I had spent so little time with him. I had thought about becoming a librarian, but before I could save up enough money to go to school, I got sick and spent all my time at the hospital. That’s when things started getting blurry. I couldn’t remember what they said I had, and I couldn’t remember dying. I could barely even remember all those years as a ghost at the hospital, but I had a clear image of Jessica and Violet walking through the hospital with their phones and flashlights and deciding that it was time for me to get out. 

That’s not what I need to be thinking about. I wanted to get out of the hospital more than anything. I don’t want to take over someone else’s life though. I just…

Would it be so bad to go back to the library and chat with that librarian some more. I’d love to learn more about how he got into the position, about his tattoos, and his hair. I’d never seen anyone with tattoos when I was alive. My mother said it was only for criminals, but I can see the appeal of having art permanently on your body. 

What would happen if I stayed in this body? Could I negotiate to share a life with the others? I imagine Rhys wouldn’t take that well. I just stayed in this room until the body died, would I just haunt wherever they die? Would I go back to the grounds of the hospital? Would I…

The cabinet always felt so comforting, but it was starting to feel like it was closing in on me. I crawled out, and nearly died when I learned that I wasn’t alone. On my bed was a small girl or maybe a woman. It was hard to tell. She had long black hair, and was wearing a plain white dress, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see her face. 

“You’ll give us all a headache if you keep trying,” she said in a whisper.

“Who are you?” 

“You shouldn’t be hiding away,” she ignored my question and her legs just swung back and forth on the bed like a child, but her voice sounded like she was so much older. 

“I’m not trying to hide. I’m trying to get out of here.” I don’t know why I felt so defensive. She didn’t sound like she was accusing me of anything, but making a quiet observation. 

“Is it really so bad here?” 

“Have you met Rhys?” 

“Are you going to let one person dictate everything?” 

“What are you suggesting I do?” See, I could turn the only asking questions on her. See how much she likes it. 

“Live.” 

Everything went fuzzy for a moment, and when I was able to focus again, she was gone. 

Well, that was the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me, and likely will ever happen. I didn’t feel comfortable staying in my room anymore, so I decided to do some more exploring. 

When I left my room, I was in a long hallway, and I could hear some voices in the distance. I took a deep breath to steady myself and walked towards the people. 

“You finally came out,” Bella said as she was suddenly in the hallway with me. “Did you know that we basically have the same name? I think the brain is struggling to come up with more unique names.” 

“You can keep the Bella part and I can go by Anna,” I said which seemed to please her. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, we're basically family,” Bella said.

“Why is it just Rhys, Nyx and Singer that normally front?”

“We don't really know, but we have some ideas. So the brain seems to be in control of who's fronting, so it's easier for us to be consistent if it's a smaller amount of people that deal with the day to day stuff, and then the rest of us are brought to the front to deal with specific triggers.

But, I think that Rhys is partially to blame, because she scares everyone away from getting close to the front.”

“What does the brain have you front for?” 

“It's been quite a while, but I usually front when we're hyper or kinda manic.”

“Things have been pretty rough in the system’s life, huh?”

“I mean, Rhys, Nyx and Singer try their best, but between our job and Avery, there isn't a lot to be happy about. Just don't tell Rhys I said anything.”

“That's unfortunate,” I said. “Let's maybe switch to something more light-hearted. What fun is there to have here?”

I briefly thought about covering my ears before she started squeeling with joy. 

“Okay, so honestly it's pretty boring here, but maybe we could throw a little bit of a party to celebrate you being here. I'll get everything together.”

Chapter 3

I woke up in Jessica’s bed with Avery snoring next to me. 

Oh god, she’s back in the front again, Rhys said, which startled me, but thankfully Avery just rolled over. 

Leave her alone, so she can get ready for work, a voice said that I wasn’t familiar with. That must be Singer. 

Shit, I didn’t want to deal with their job again, but I really didn’t want to have Rhys yelling in my ear all day if I messed anything up, so I crawled out from bed, and Avery just rolled over. 

Why do we put up with this guy again? He doesn’t even have a job. I thought while walking over to the bathroom. 

He’s just in between jobs at the moment, and he’s been good to us. Nyx said. 

I had my doubts, but I didn’t really feel like getting into a fight with the headmates while taking a shower. I got ready as quickly as I could, as I really wanted to get out of the apartment before Avery woke up. 

Um, I might have a problem. I still have no idea how to drive, I said while grabbing our purse and keys and hurrying out of the apartment while Avery started groaning. 

I’ll just take over for a bit. That’s what the brain did yesterday, Singer said. 

I got into the car, and I ignored our phone as it pinged with a new message. 

***

I don’t know if I’d ever get used to these time skips. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to get used to anything. I figured it’d be easy enough to go to the library or back to the hospital after work and find a way to get out of this body. It was boring being a ghost, but I’ll take that any day over having to live someone else’s life. 

“Why did you ghost me at the market?” Violet asked as I was getting settled at Jessica’s desk. 

“Ghost you?” I asked. 

Fuck, she doesn’t know anything, why is the brain putting her in control now? 

“...turned, and you were just gone, and then I messaged you and never heard anything back until hours later, and I was just panicking that something happened to you.” I missed the start of what she was saying.

“Sorry, Avery had a crisis and I had to take off,” I said. 

“Of course he did,” Violet walked away before I could say anything else.

You all need to stop talking so much, I can’t focus on anything. I said, and felt like I needed to shake my head to be able to focus again. 

Yeah, we’ll stop being a distraction, or you could just leave everything to us. Rhys said. 

I would if I could, I said, and started with checking our calendar and email to see what I actually needed to do today. 

Thankfully today was a much busier day, even if it was still dreadfully boring, and I think I was able to make things a bit better with Violet, by leaving a can of Arizona Tea on her desk, at Nyx’s recommendation. Then there was Avery’s messages to deal with. 

9:32a: Babe, you left without giving me a kiss this morning
9:34a: I thought you weren’t angry with me anymore?
9:39a: Why are you ignoring me again? 
11:17a: Sorry to keep bugging you at work
11:18a: Since, I wasn’t able to have friends over yesterday, would it be okay if I had them over tonight? 
11:18a: And if you wouldn’t mind making some snacks? 

I really didn’t understand what Jessica (or the people that made up Jessica) saw in this guy. He reminded me of Jeremy who would send letters to me everyday, and try and get my attention everytime he saw me in town. 

11:32a: Dear, you can invite your friends over, and I would be delighted to provide some snacks for everyone. I do need to make a stop after work on my way home though. 

I didn’t get any messages back during my lunch, and Violet was busy with a meeting, so I had some time to work through my thoughts. 

So obviously Jessica’s life could use some help, and I could either just go along with the motions and just try and get out of this body as quickly as possible, or I could spend some time or effort and try and improve Jessica’s life. Especially if I was going to be stuck here for a while. It seemed clear to me that Avery was just a drain on her life, and that Violet was a close friend, but that she didn’t really think about the impacts that she had on Jessica. 

It wasn’t really my problem though, and I didn’t want to do anything to change Jessica’s life without talking to the alters first. So, really it was the best idea to just get out of this body as quickly as possible. 

I tried to focus on work as much as possible, with occasional breaks to chat with Violet, both to actually apologize, but also to distract from how brain meltingly boring their work was. I learned that Violet had another event she was going to tonight, but she didn’t invite me this time. Which I understood, but it still hurt. 

It was finally time to clock out, and I had decided to start with the hospital and just hope that proximity would allow me to leave. I got into the car, but this time I was determined to see how it worked, and I kinda wish that I hadn’t. 

I managed to stay in the front, but I didn’t have any control of the body, so I was just watching as the body I had by now gotten used to just seemed to move on its own. Singer moved so calmly with the body while the car moved at speeds that nothing should be allowed to move at. 

It didn’t matter how much I screamed, and some higher portion of my brain was starting to understand that it was actually making things worse. That didn’t stop the animal part of me from trying to claw my way out of the restraints on my hands and legs. I knew that it was my fault for biting that bitch nurse, but she had it coming. 

“Fucking hell Annie, I need you to keep it together while I’m driving,” Singer said with our mouth. Also a tremendously unsettling experience. 

My apologies, I said, and focused more on the inner world. I don’t think I could handle just focusing on the real world and these damned cars. 

I finally got a closer look at Singer in doing so. He was tall, but his posture was stooped, and he had a skeletal looking but robotic left arm, and a metal right eye. There were various metal plates and wires spread across his body. 

“It’s okay, I know that it can be hard when you’re new,” Singer said, and I swore he managed to make the same voice I used so much softer and comforting. “I know that Rhys gave you a hard time, but last night wasn’t bad, and I think it was nice that we got a little more time with Violet.” 

It’s difficult to understand the way people write to each other nowadays, I said. I didn’t know he didn’t meant it when he said I could do whatever I wanted. 

“It was an interesting choice for the brain to make you a ghost from a 100 years ago, but I don’t think you’re the weirdest alter it’s come up with,” Singer said. 

The brain didn’t come up with me, I said and pulled further away from the front. I know that Singer kept talking, but I just ignored him. 

How could they not see that I was different from them? It doesn’t matter though. I’m just going to get out of this body as quickly as possible and then I wouldn’t have to think about them ever again, and can find a better person to hop a ride with. 

I felt a brief pull before I was back in the front parked outside of where the hospital should be, but it was missing. 

“What in the heavens happened?” I asked and stepped out of the car. There was a fence around the perimeter. 

The hospital was set for demolition. That’s why we explored the night before, Nyx said. 

“You could have said something before I asked Singer to drive all the way out here,” I said, and although I wanted to snap at them, I didn’t have the heat behind the words. Instead, I just felt numb, and like I could float away at a moment’s notice. 

Maybe you could find some information at the library to help? Nyx offered. 

“Yeah, maybe,” I managed to say, and the body started to move to drive, but I pulled away from the front. 

***

The public library was a monstrosity of architecture. I had gotten used to the boring blocks of office buildings, but I had no words for how this library was constructed. It looked like it was put together from left over parts of other buildings with a single column supporting the entrance. 

“God is dead,” I said while getting out of the car. 

You can’t say things like that, Nyx scolded me, and I did notice a few looks from people walking by. 

It’s a public library, they should be used to some crazy people, Singer said. 

I could feel Nyx’s disapproval, but she didn’t actually say anything in response. I was distracted by the inside of the library, and how different it was than I was expecting. There weren’t any books in sight from the entrance, but instead there was a cafe, there were screens everywhere, and people meandering and loitering around benches and displays of art. 

I wandered further into the building where there were librarians behind a circular desk in the middle of a room, and finally spotted stacks of books in the wings of the library, but I was dismayed that I couldn’t see where the card catalog was. I spent a few minutes wandering up and down the stacks, and around the building confused. 

Singer started asking something in my head, while a man started asking a question, and I could not process what they were saying. I tried shaking my head, and turned to the man. 

I could not process anything further he was saying as I took in his appearance. He was a little shorter than Jessica. He looked like he should have been on display along with other ancient greek statues, and his eyes were a hazel that I felt like I could explore like an astronaut in a nebula. He had short deep blue spiky hair, a nose piercing, and several ear piercings. He wore a button up shirt with little cartoon characters that felt familiar even though I could not recognize them, and his arms were covered in black and white tattoos. There was a geometric whale that caught my eyes in particular. 

Shit, he was still talking.

“I’m so sorry, I got a bit disoriented. What were you saying?” I asked. 

He gave a small smile, and said, “No worries, I was just asking if I could help you find something?” 

“Yes, I was trying to find the card catalog,” I said. 

He looked confused for a moment. “We don’t have a physical card catalog anymore, but I can help you use one of our computers to search, what kinda book are you looking for?” 

“That would be amazing. I was trying to find some books on ghost possessions,” I said. 

“Worried you got someone else hanging out with you?” He asked with a soft laugh.

Was I that obvious? No, it’s just a joke, stop being so weird. 

“Oh yeah, I went to St Urban’s before it was demolished to do some ghost hunting, and just want to do more research,” I said.

“Oh that’s so cool,” he said. I followed him to a desk with a computer, and he navigated and typed on the computer faster than I was able to keep up with. 

“They’re all in the same section for 130, I can take you over there,” he said and started walking towards the stacks. 

“Feels like everything’s changed so much,” I said as I caught a glimpse of some kids being shown how to use some futuristic device off to the side of the room. 

“It’s been a while since you’ve been to the library huh?”

“You could say that.” 

“Well, here you are. You can grab whatever books look interesting and snag a table or one of the private study rooms if you want. If you want to check anything out, you can get help at the front desk on your way out, and anything you don’t, please set back on these carts. It helps with funding since it shows circulation. And if there is anything else you need, I’ll be at the information desk.” He walked away before I was really able to process everything he said, but I had a job to do anyway. 

I grabbed every title that sounded at all relevant and scurried off to find one of the private rooms that the librarian had mentioned. I got settled and started looking through the stack.

I jotted down a handful of notes that might have been helpful, but I was not optimistic. Most of the books seemed to have no idea what they were talking about, some said that possession doesn’t exist, and a few just said to ask the ghost kindly to leave. 

I probably should’ve realized this sooner, but all of the books were assuming the reader was the one wanting to get rid of the ghost, and so assumed that the ghost would be able to leave if they wanted to. I sat there staring at the stack of books for a while as it slowly dawned on me, I was out of leads. I was stuck.

Chapter 2

The next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor of a tree house. I could hear rain hitting the roof, and the sound of thunder occasionally in the distance. I looked down and saw my own body, although I was translucent like I had been as a ghost. Did I get kicked out of the body? If I did, how did I get into a tree house? 

“So, who are you then?” A soft voice said. I looked up and saw a tall woman with antlers, the legs of a fawn, beautiful chestnut skin, and white freckles across her face. 

“Who am I? What are you?” I asked. 

“Give her a minute, it can be disorienting to be new,” the other woman in the room said. She was wearing an elegant gown, and had intricate patterns tattooed all over her body, a nose piercing, eye brow piercing, and several ear piercings.  “I’m Nyx, and this is Rhys. Can I ask your name?” 

“Annabelle, but what is going on? Why am I here?” 

“It’s nice to meet you Annabelle,” Nyx said, and she sat down next to me on the treehouse floor. “I don’t know how much you figured things out, but you’re a new alter for Jessica’s system.”

“I’m not an alter, I’m a ghost. I accidentally possessed this body when you went to that abandoned hospital.” 

“Anne, we all have similar things. They’re called pseudomemories, and they’re not real, it’s just part of how our brain works,” Rhys said. 

“Rhys, be nice or go away,” Nyx said. 

“She riles Avery up like it’s nothing, and I’m supposed to be nice? I don’t know how Singer is going to get him to calm down at this point, and if he can’t, then what are we going to do?” 

“We’re going to let Singer handle it,” Nyx said. “I can’t handle getting Anne caught up with everything and your attitude at the same time, so either calm down or go.” 

Rhys held up her hands and walked over to a corner of the Tree House where she sat down in a large chair with a drink suddenly in her hand. 

“Look, I wasn’t aware that this body had so many people in it, but I had an entire life and afterlife before running into y’all, and I’m sorry that I messed things up, but I promise that I was trying to do my best,” I said. 

“I know, and let’s go ahead and just set aside the ‘I’m a ghost and not a part of this brain’ stuff so that we can move forward,” Nyx said, and paused. I realized a little late that she was waiting for a response from me, so I nodded. 

“So, this is part of our inner world. The front is up that ladder, which is where you were and where Singer is now. You’ll meet him soon, and then there is a ladder down that leads to where everyone else lives when they aren’t near the front.” 

“How many people are there?” 

“With you, now there are thirteen.” 

My mouth must have been hanging open as she started to giggle at my reaction, but that’s just so many people to try and share one body. 

“Don’t worry, the way this brain works is that most of the time it’s me, Rhys and Singer that handle most day to day affairs, and then occasionally one of the others fronts for a while.” 

“So, maybe you could do all of us a favor and just join the rest of them so we can get back to managing our life,” Rhys said. 

“Fuck Rhys, you don’t need to be so rude,” Nyx said. 

“I think I’d like to do some exploring,” I said. I figured it would be good to try and get as much information as possible about what was happening if I was going to be stuck here for a bit, and I have to admit, I wanted to get out of Rhys’ presence. 

“Just stay out of the Forbidden Forest,” Rhys said.

“What is the Forbidden Forest?”

“It’s just bad news, and even talking about it makes it harder for the brain to work,” Nyx said. As we discussed it, for however brief it was, I noticed that the storm outside of the treehouse got worse. 

“Whatever, you got it. I won’t go near there,” I said and walked over to the ladder leading out of the treehouse. 

I steadily went down, and everything seemed to get less distinct, like taking off my glasses and watching everything get blurred around the edges. I could still hear the storm, but it wasn’t raining wherever I was, as if it was just around the tree house. I could feel more than see the Forbidden Forest nearby, and I don’t think I needed any sort of warning to stop me from going there. The darkness definitely seemed to have a presence that could swallow me whole if I approached. 

My more immediate surroundings just seemed to be a bucolic hill, with various small buildings scattered around. There were some interspersed wild flowers and trees but nothing as dense as the Forbidden Forest. 

“Hey, are you the new alter?” Someone shouted in the distance. I could see someone approaching, although it felt more like I could feel their presence than actually see anything. 

“I’m not an actual alter, but I mean, I am new here,” I called back. 

The figure that approached looked like a small child mixed with a dragon. They had bright red scales, and wore a coat that looked like it was meant for someone bigger, and was covered in pockets. 

“It’s going to go easier if you just accept it,” the creature said. “Anyway, I’m Bee, I can help you find a place in the field if you’d like.” 

“I think that would be good, honestly, I’m just trying to get a grasp on what’s happening, and trying to avoid Rhys.” 

“I hear that, she can be really intense, but she does calm down eventually. Or at least, I hope she does.” Bee started walking down the hill, and I followed while still trying to make everything out. 

“You’re gonna give us a headache trying to focus too hard,” Bee said. 

“What do you mean?” 

“The inner world distracts from the real world, and the more we focus on specifics, the harder it gets to focus on the real world, and trying to do both usually causes us pretty intense headaches.” 

“I think I’d rather just go back to my hospital.” 

“Believe me, it’s not too bad once you get used to it, and no one can really leave anyway. I know a few have tried.” 

“Is there anyone else I should be aware of?” 

“Here, let’s go to the house and you can meet everyone,” Bee turned and walked into a large two story house with a wrap-around porch. The green paint was flaked in parts, but everything still looked well cared for. 

I stepped into the house, and everything was so loud so fast. Bee started pointing to everyone, and providing everyone’s names. 

There was a young blonde girl with pigtails sitting on an island between the living room and the kitchen whose name was Susie. In the kitchen there was Derek in red flannel cooking something while joking with a bubbly woman in a light blue sundress named Bella. 

In the living room, there was Matt, a small boy with black shaggy hair coloring, while a man in a three piece suit sat reading next to him. His name was Luman and apparently he was an introject of the main character from the Empty Archives. There was a feminine looking robot that was relaxed on the couch whose name was Juniper, and she never talked. Finally in the corner was a beautiful woman in heels, a full face of makeup and it looked like it must’ve taken hours to get her hair just right, and her name was Kendra. 

“Kendra can also be a bitch, she’s been a persecutor of the system,” Bee whispered to me. 

I counted everyone in the room, and the three above, and remembered to include myself. 

“That’s only twelve people, Nyx said that there were thirteen?” 

“Oh, there’s the Keeper, but we try not to interact with her,” Bee said, while looking straight down at the carpet. 

“Why not?” 

“She lives in the Forbidden Forest, and stops anything from coming out,” Bee said so quietly that I could barely hear them.

I nodded, and took a step into the house before I was swarmed with people.

“Oh my god, she’s so pretty,” Susie said. 

“Why are you transparent?” Bella asked.

“Just let the poor woman be,” Derek called from the kitchen. 

“How do you manage such a wonderful degree of transparency?” Luman asked. 

I noticed that Juniper and Matt had walked further away from me. 

“Like, we need more noise in the system,” Kendra said, “Why don’t you just go get lost in the forest like Keeper.” 

Bella and Susie were still talking, but I couldn’t make out the words, and it felt like everyone was closing in so tight. I felt like I couldn’t move and everything kept going out of focus around me. My stomach started twisting and it felt like my head was in a vice. I needed to get out of there. 

Something snapped, and twisted, and suddenly I was in a dimly lit room that looked like, but not quite the same as my hospital room. It was like I remembered when I was alive, before the building was shut down and condemned. I crawled into the towel cabinet, and curled up just like I used to do when hiding from the nurses. 

What the hell was I going to do? How could all of this have happened?

Chapter 1

I felt like I was trying to pilot my way through a mountain range through dense clouds, while a monkey was screaming right into my ears. I also never learned how to fly and the instruction manual flew out the window. 

The worst part was that I was just trying to navigate an excel spreadsheet, but no matter how many times I tried to remind myself that, it still felt like I was waiting to crash. 

To make matters even worse, I was a ghost just taking a ride in someone else’s body. I would be thankful that I died before the invention of computers, except I still found myself sitting in front of one, and trying to make sense of the information before me. I thought about taking paid time off, a new concept which appealed to me greatly. 

I took a look at the clock and wondered if I would be able to get the clock hands to move faster with the power of my mind. There was still three hours before I could be done, and then I could enjoy all of the modern delights that were invented after I died. 

“Bestie!” A voice startled me, and I looked over to see an adorable woman with dimples looking at me over the edge of the cubicle. 

“Hey,” I said, and cringed at how low this body’s voice was. I meant to say her name, but the name escaped me as I tried to pull the brain’s memories. 

“Are you and Avery able to make it tonight?” She asked.

Shit. Who the hell is Avery? Where were they supposed to be going? How the hell could I ask for more information without making it obvious that I didn’t remember. 

“I’ll have to double check with him. Can you text me the details to make sure just in case he asks a bunch of questions?” 

“Of course, and maybe if he decides to be a butt, you could still come out?” 

I was about to agree, but I could feel the heart beating faster, and it felt like the ground was about to drop out from under me. 

“Maybe, I’ll have to see with how everything goes,” I said, and felt my soul was crushed under the wave of guilt as I watched her face fall in disappointment. 

“I’ve gotta get back before Linda notices I’m not at my desk, but I really hope I’ll see you later.” She waved as she walked away, and I turned back to the spreadsheet with new weights on my shoulders. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” A man screamed at me. I flinched, but I knew that I couldn’t get away. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to move if I tried. I knew what was going to happen next, and just wanted the blow to land so that I could get on with my day. 

I jolted back to the body as the body’s phone buzzed on the desk. I tried to push the intrusive memory from my mind, even if that man’s face was hard to shake. I swiped to the message which was a text from Violet, and then it buzzed a few more times as more messages came in.

Deets: 7p tonight, Tea 4 Tea over at River Park, Goth pop up market, there’ll be live music and vendors 

Pleeeeease make it

Tell Avery he’s a butt if he says no

And wear something cute

The final message was just a string of heart and pouting emojis. There were also a few unread messages from Avery. 

Babe, I was thinking of having some friends over later

Maybe you could make some snack foods and stop and get some drinks on the way home? 

Is everything okay?

Why are you ignoring me? Is it because I wanted to have friends over? You always do this

I groaned and rubbed my temples. I needed to get out of this body quickly, but I had no idea. I also had a very tenuous grasp on texting etiquette, which was entirely different than sending letters. 

I apologize for the delay, but I’ve been busy at work. I would be delighted if you had friends over, however, Violet invited us to a Goth Pop Up market at River Park tonight if you would like to attend, or if you do not wish to do so, I could go while you are spending time with your friends.

I tried to focus on the computer, which was a fascinating device even if it was trying to drain my soul right out of this body, but I kept peeking over at the phone to see if I received any more messages. How did anyone get anything done with these tiny computers looming over them?

The phone finally buzzed with a new message from Avery. Do whatever you want.

Perfect, I wouldn’t have to disappoint either of them, and could avoid that look from Violet ever again. 

Greetings Violet, I am pleased to let you know that I will be joining you at the Pop Up Market, although Avery will be unable to attend.

The phone buzzed back almost immediately. 

LMAO Jess, you’re so goofy

I’m so hyped!!!

Ngl, kinda glad Avery can’t make it

Don’t hate me for it

I decided to stop actually trying to figure out how to do any work, I had already checked and determined that there wasn’t anything that was immediately needed that day. Instead, I started investigating the body’s phone to try and get more information. Maybe I could even figure out who the guy was from the body’s memory. 

Thanks to the brain, I had a vague idea of how the phone worked, and what each of the icons on the phone were for. I decided to start with Facebook, and see what I could find from the body’s profile. I knew it was a bit silly, but it felt too intrusive to start with the more private apps on Jess’s phone. 

The first thing that I learned was Jessica’s full name of Jessica Edgewood. The second thing I learned is that she did not post on social media. She also didn’t include almost any information in her about section. The only information included where she used to work, but not her current employer, and that she’s engaged to Avery Wimblesneed. Oh wow, hopefully he takes her name when they get married so she never has to utter being Mrs. Wimblesneed. 

I decided to check on Avery’s page, and there was somehow even less personal information. Instead, all of his posts were about various causes and then him arguing with people in the comments. Most of the posts were about places that I had never heard of before, and it felt so weird that people would argue with people that they’ve never met before, and about people who they would never meet and weren’t doing anything to actually improve their lives. 

Violet’s page was a lot more interesting. She posted constantly with pictures of herself all over the place, and pictures of the food that she made or ordered at a restaurant. 

“You creeping on me?” Violet asked, and I damn near jumped out of my skin. 

“I would never,” I started to sputter, but stopped when she started laughing. 

“Jess, you’re killing me today. I’m just messing with you. Let’s get going, they don’t pay us enough to work after our shift’s up.” 

There have never been more beautiful words uttered in the English language. 

I walked with Violet out to the parking lot and she waved after I confirmed that I would be meeting her later.

There was one major problem. I had no idea how to drive a car. I sat down in the driver's seat, and stared at the wheel.

***

I blinked and suddenly I was at Jessica's apartment. The building itself was cute, but looked like it could’ve used a swarm of repairmen to do some much needed upkeep. The paint was chipped in several places, and there was at least one cracked window that had been covered with cardboard. 

I wish I could say that at least the rent was low, but the world seems to have gotten more and more expensive. 

Their apartment was cozy if you were being generous, and cramped if you weren’t. They also had almost no real decorations in their home, except a couple pictures of the two of them, and a Live Laugh Love sign in the living room. I was glad that Avery wasn’t home, as that meant I wouldn’t have to worry about trying to talk to him while also navigating modern fashion trends so that I could wear something cute. 

I searched on Jessica’s phone for examples of goth fashion, (thank god for modern technology) and scrolled through the images before I felt I had a decent grasp on it. Black (and maybe some purple). I’m sure there are nuances I didn’t catch, but that at least gave me a base to work from. 

Jessica’s wardrobe, however, did not. So, I grabbed the phone again, and opened the chat with Violet.

Dear, I have run into an issue. What if I don’t have anything cute to wear?

The response was almost immediate. 

Girl, I got you, come over here and we can head over together. 

Why did everything require driving nowadays? 

***

And then I was standing in front of Violet’s apartment building. I shook my head as it felt like it was packed full of cotton, which didn’t really help, but there was nothing else I felt could do anything to help.

I’m here, I texted while walking toward Violet’s apartment. The door was cracked open slightly when I got there, so I let myself in,

“Hello?” I called out, and took a moment to appreciate her apartment. There were cute decorations all throughout, with shelves covered in small trinkets all over. The most startling though was the amount of eyes in her decorations. No matter where you looked there was something looking back. 

“Come on back and let’s find you something cute,” Violet called from deeper in her apartment. 

I hurried back, and saw her bed covered in various outfits. Her bedroom could have passed for a witch’s workshop deep in the woods. There were art prints on the wall that made my face heat up, and vines hanging around the window from the ceiling. There were occult symbols, a gorgeous black vanity, and a huge canopy bed. 

Maybe I could pay Violet to help decorate Jessica’s apartment? 

“I’m so glad you came over, now you can help me pick out an outfit too,” Violet said while rummaging through her closet. “I know that you’re a bit bigger than I am, but I’m sure that I have some options that’ll fit you. Did you have a particular vibe in mind?” 

“Um, I’m not really sure,” I said, still trying to catch up to everything that was going on. 

“I’ll pick out a few options and then we can go from there,” Violet dove back into her closet. “I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t actually expecting you to take me up on either offer. I thought you might’ve been trying to soft cancel the plans this evening when you texted.” 

“Why would I do that? I’m excited to spend time with you.” 

“It’s just that every time something doesn’t include Avery, or if it’s something he might not like, you just end up not doing it. I’ve really just missed getting to spend time with you.” 

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, and I avoided looking at the paintings on the wall, but instead just focused on the little trinkets on her vanity. There was a small purple pin with grass reaching up like hands, and the saying “Remember, when you touch the grass, the grass is touching you right back.” 

I was sitting in the passenger seat, and the world blurred in the windows around through the water in my eyes, and I was laughing so hard that my lungs hurt. Violet pulled the car to the side of the highway, and her head fell onto my shoulder as neither of us could manage to stop laughing. 

“Enjoy your night while you can, and thank you for listening to the Empty Archives,” the smooth, calm voice said over the car’s radio. 

“I miss that podcast,” Violet said, and I almost collided with her as I jumped. “I still listen to their old episodes to fall asleep some nights.” 

“Those were some good times,” I said. My chest felt hollow, like something precious had been scooped out of me, and lost through a storm drain. 

I’m not really sure what bothered me more; the feeling itself, or that it was someone else’s feelings intruding on me. 

“Okay, here’s what I’ve got,” Violet said and laid out three potential outfits. One was a pretty simple black dress with cross hatching over the chest, then there was a black tank top with a plethora of eyes on it and ripped black jeans, and the last was a dark green tank top with a frog on it, and a black skirt with an excess of chains dangling from it. All of them would mean showing so much skin, and I could feel my face heating up at the thought of going out in public with so little clothing on. 

I decided on trying the black dress, since it was the most modest choice of the three. While I was getting dressed, and working on my make up, which involved some improvising to get some orange color correction for the body’s facial hair. In the meantime, Violet also found some bat earrings for us to wear, and a coffin necklace to finish my outfit. 

“You look so cute,” Violet squealed as I stood up and started to look at myself in the mirror, and I had to admit. While this wasn’t my body, and it was uncomfortable to see the wrong reflection, that the result was beautiful, even if there was way too much skin showing. 

I’ll be honest, I was looking at the body in every reflective service we passed on the way to Violet’s car, but I managed to resist just staring at the body in the visor mirror. 

We listened to an episode of the Empty Archive on the way, and it felt like laying down in bed after a long day, and I couldn’t help but wonder how much of my emotions were mine and how much were just from the body that I was inhabiting. 

Before I knew it, we were at the market, and the amount of people, stalls and trinkets was overwhelming. I turned to ask Violet where she wanted to start, but she had disappeared. Should I go search for her? Is this how they normally interacted? I considered calling her, or at least texting her, but I also didn’t want to ruin her time at the market. 

So, I started to wander along the stalls, and looked through the various trinkets, earrings, clothes, and stickers that people were selling. Admittedly, I was also looking for a quiet space where I might be able to just take a moment to breathe. That’s when my phone started buzzing. 

“Are you really going to just ignore me?” Avery said over the phone. 

“I’m sorry, I haven’t checked the phone in a minute,” I said.

“Right? Well, when are you going to be home?” 

“I’m not really sure, Violet gave me a ride her, so when I find her again, and when she’s done here.” 

“Oh my god, you always do this.” 

I tried to keep listening as he continued to rant, but I didn’t understand why he was so upset, and I could feel my thoughts getting cloudier and harder to focus on. He said for me to do what I wanted, and he was going to be spending time with his friends? I felt dizzy, and I could no longer focus on the market around me.