Chapter 5

I don’t really know what I expected from a party, but I’m sure it wasn’t whatever this was. The music was blaringly loud, so those in the front could probably hear it too. The alters seemed to have segregated themselves into groups like they had been when I first met them. The children were chasing each other around the furniture and weaving themselves between the adults. Bella was dancing on the coffee table with Bee, and Derek was leaning against the counter in the kitchen.

Luman and Juniper were standing together against the wall in the living room, and I couldn’t see Kendra at first, but later spotted her sitting in a large chair watching everyone else. I didn’t really know what I should be doing.

“Anna, come dance with us!” Bella shouted from the table. 

“I need her in the kitchen,” Derek called with a twang to his voice. He winked at me, and waved me over. 

I hurried over to the kitchen, and everything seemed to get quieter. 

“I can’t thank you enough for bailing me out there,” I said and thought for a moment about hiding under the counters.

“Wasn’t nothing. I know Bella means well, bless her heart, but these parties can be overwhelming,” Derek said. “You want a snack?” He held out a plate of cookies, and I could see some other snacks right behind him. I hesitantly took one, and looked back over to see Bella and Bee had managed to coax the kids to also dancing on the furniture. 

I took a small bite out of the cookie, and it was sweet and chewy, and made me feel like I was wrapped in a hug.

“How the hell?” 

“They’re based on the memories of our mom’s cookies,” Derek said. “Can’t eat them without also feeling like we’re back in our momma’s arms.” 

“She sounds incredible,” I said.

A pained look crossed Derek’s face, but it quickly disappeared. 

“She was a complicated woman,” Derek said. I could almost feel the air in the room get more tense for a moment, but it went away as the music seemed to drown it out. 

“Will all of this affect those in the tree house?”

“Probably. If nothing else, they’re gonna have these songs stuck in their head. I think it’s half the reason Bella likes to throw parties.” 

“I am getting a great deal of joy out of thinking about Rhys having this song stuck in her head.” 

“She can be pretty intense, but she’s really a sweetheart.” 

“I’ll believe that when I see it.” 

“Just think about it from her perspective. She’s trying to manage a life that she only has partial control over. She’s stressed with work and trying to do her best, but at the brain’s whims, everything she’s been working on can get messed up because someone else just forgot something that we were supposed to do, and when we are at our most stressed, the brain will just make a new person who’s suddenly in control of our lives for who knows how long, and may change the dynamic of the brain and our life. It’s a challenging juggling act, and she was just handed an unknown ball.” 

I guess, I hadn’t really thought about it like that. I hadn’t really thought about how my actions would be affecting their life as Jessica, and was just focused on trying to figure out how to handle my own affairs. Derek let me sit in silence as I thought about everything I had been focused on in however long since the last time I fronted. 

“Why are you allowing Avery to court you?” I asked. It was something that had been bothering me for a while. 

“Really from the olden times ain’t ya?” Derek said with a chuckle. “I’ll be honest, I’ve had my moments where I’ve wondered if we’d be better off without him, but he’s been supportive. He helped us through our transition, and when he’s in a good mood, he’s incredibly funny. 

“How long has it been since then?”

Derek had a thoughtful look, but never got back to me with an answer, and I could feel the pressure in the room growing more dense. 

“Hey, it’s a party, let’s focus on lighter topics?” 

“Sure,” I said, and stepped away as we both lapsed into silence. 

The music, lights and everyone felt oppressive, so I stepped out of the house. I sat down on the porch, and watched the hazy fields around the house. Was this really going to be my home from now on? Maybe I should just feel lucky that I get to be a part of this system. Most people didn’t get a second chance to be alive, and the heavens know I didn’t get a lot of opportunities in my own life. I could even see where the system could benefit from my help. 

“Why aren’t you at the party?” Rhys asked, and I swear I leapt a few feet into the air. I might be losing my mind, but I also swear I heard her chuckle. 

“It got to be a bit too much,” I said. 

“I don’t trust you.” Rhys sat down next to me on the porch. 

“I gathered that.” 

“I don’t know why the brain created you, and I don’t feel comfortable with how committed to this ghost story you are, but you haven’t fucked anything up yet.” 

“What are you trying to get at?”

“I don’t know if the brain is going to have you front again, and I don’t know what you are planning to do, but I’d appreciate if you'd communicate with me before doing anything.” 

“Rhys, I’ll do my best to work with you, Nyx, Singer and everyone else, but I don’t think I’ll be able to talk to you before everything I do. If I’m really an alter or part of this system, then this body’s life is mine just as much as it’s yours and I should have a voice in how our life is lived.” 

Rhys didn’t look pleased, and I thought she was going to start yelling at me, but instead she smirked. 

“I don’t know why the brain created you, but I gotta say, I appreciate it creating someone with a spine.” Rhys stood up, and took a few steps towards the tree house. “Can I ask though? What would you change?” 

“We should break off our courtship with Avery before anything else.” 

Rhys didn’t seem surprised, but instead thoughtful. 

“I’ve thought about doing that myself, but I was worried that Nyx would just take him right back when she fronts, or one of the other alters. Hell, I’m also worried that without him, we’d just have no one.” 

“You have to know that’s not a good enough reason to be with someone.”

“I can tell, you’re gonna be a pain in my ass. I hope whatever the brain’s doing is for the best.” Rhys walked away before I could figure out how I wanted to respond.