Chapter 1

I felt like I was trying to pilot my way through a mountain range through dense clouds, while a monkey was screaming right into my ears. I also never learned how to fly and the instruction manual flew out the window. 

The worst part was that I was just trying to navigate an excel spreadsheet, but no matter how many times I tried to remind myself that, it still felt like I was waiting to crash. 

To make matters even worse, I was a ghost just taking a ride in someone else’s body. I would be thankful that I died before the invention of computers, except I still found myself sitting in front of one, and trying to make sense of the information before me. I thought about taking paid time off, a new concept which appealed to me greatly. 

I took a look at the clock and wondered if I would be able to get the clock hands to move faster with the power of my mind. There was still three hours before I could be done, and then I could enjoy all of the modern delights that were invented after I died. 

“Bestie!” A voice startled me, and I looked over to see an adorable woman with dimples looking at me over the edge of the cubicle. 

“Hey,” I said, and cringed at how low this body’s voice was. I meant to say her name, but the name escaped me as I tried to pull the brain’s memories. 

“Are you and Avery able to make it tonight?” She asked.

Shit. Who the hell is Avery? Where were they supposed to be going? How the hell could I ask for more information without making it obvious that I didn’t remember. 

“I’ll have to double check with him. Can you text me the details to make sure just in case he asks a bunch of questions?” 

“Of course, and maybe if he decides to be a butt, you could still come out?” 

I was about to agree, but I could feel the heart beating faster, and it felt like the ground was about to drop out from under me. 

“Maybe, I’ll have to see with how everything goes,” I said, and felt my soul was crushed under the wave of guilt as I watched her face fall in disappointment. 

“I’ve gotta get back before Linda notices I’m not at my desk, but I really hope I’ll see you later.” She waved as she walked away, and I turned back to the spreadsheet with new weights on my shoulders. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” A man screamed at me. I flinched, but I knew that I couldn’t get away. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to move if I tried. I knew what was going to happen next, and just wanted the blow to land so that I could get on with my day. 

I jolted back to the body as the body’s phone buzzed on the desk. I tried to push the intrusive memory from my mind, even if that man’s face was hard to shake. I swiped to the message which was a text from Violet, and then it buzzed a few more times as more messages came in.

Deets: 7p tonight, Tea 4 Tea over at River Park, Goth pop up market, there’ll be live music and vendors 

Pleeeeease make it

Tell Avery he’s a butt if he says no

And wear something cute

The final message was just a string of heart and pouting emojis. There were also a few unread messages from Avery. 

Babe, I was thinking of having some friends over later

Maybe you could make some snack foods and stop and get some drinks on the way home? 

Is everything okay?

Why are you ignoring me? Is it because I wanted to have friends over? You always do this

I groaned and rubbed my temples. I needed to get out of this body quickly, but I had no idea. I also had a very tenuous grasp on texting etiquette, which was entirely different than sending letters. 

I apologize for the delay, but I’ve been busy at work. I would be delighted if you had friends over, however, Violet invited us to a Goth Pop Up market at River Park tonight if you would like to attend, or if you do not wish to do so, I could go while you are spending time with your friends.

I tried to focus on the computer, which was a fascinating device even if it was trying to drain my soul right out of this body, but I kept peeking over at the phone to see if I received any more messages. How did anyone get anything done with these tiny computers looming over them?

The phone finally buzzed with a new message from Avery. Do whatever you want.

Perfect, I wouldn’t have to disappoint either of them, and could avoid that look from Violet ever again. 

Greetings Violet, I am pleased to let you know that I will be joining you at the Pop Up Market, although Avery will be unable to attend.

The phone buzzed back almost immediately. 

LMAO Jess, you’re so goofy

I’m so hyped!!!

Ngl, kinda glad Avery can’t make it

Don’t hate me for it

I decided to stop actually trying to figure out how to do any work, I had already checked and determined that there wasn’t anything that was immediately needed that day. Instead, I started investigating the body’s phone to try and get more information. Maybe I could even figure out who the guy was from the body’s memory. 

Thanks to the brain, I had a vague idea of how the phone worked, and what each of the icons on the phone were for. I decided to start with Facebook, and see what I could find from the body’s profile. I knew it was a bit silly, but it felt too intrusive to start with the more private apps on Jess’s phone. 

The first thing that I learned was Jessica’s full name of Jessica Edgewood. The second thing I learned is that she did not post on social media. She also didn’t include almost any information in her about section. The only information included where she used to work, but not her current employer, and that she’s engaged to Avery Wimblesneed. Oh wow, hopefully he takes her name when they get married so she never has to utter being Mrs. Wimblesneed. 

I decided to check on Avery’s page, and there was somehow even less personal information. Instead, all of his posts were about various causes and then him arguing with people in the comments. Most of the posts were about places that I had never heard of before, and it felt so weird that people would argue with people that they’ve never met before, and about people who they would never meet and weren’t doing anything to actually improve their lives. 

Violet’s page was a lot more interesting. She posted constantly with pictures of herself all over the place, and pictures of the food that she made or ordered at a restaurant. 

“You creeping on me?” Violet asked, and I damn near jumped out of my skin. 

“I would never,” I started to sputter, but stopped when she started laughing. 

“Jess, you’re killing me today. I’m just messing with you. Let’s get going, they don’t pay us enough to work after our shift’s up.” 

There have never been more beautiful words uttered in the English language. 

I walked with Violet out to the parking lot and she waved after I confirmed that I would be meeting her later.

There was one major problem. I had no idea how to drive a car. I sat down in the driver's seat, and stared at the wheel.

***

I blinked and suddenly I was at Jessica's apartment. The building itself was cute, but looked like it could’ve used a swarm of repairmen to do some much needed upkeep. The paint was chipped in several places, and there was at least one cracked window that had been covered with cardboard. 

I wish I could say that at least the rent was low, but the world seems to have gotten more and more expensive. 

Their apartment was cozy if you were being generous, and cramped if you weren’t. They also had almost no real decorations in their home, except a couple pictures of the two of them, and a Live Laugh Love sign in the living room. I was glad that Avery wasn’t home, as that meant I wouldn’t have to worry about trying to talk to him while also navigating modern fashion trends so that I could wear something cute. 

I searched on Jessica’s phone for examples of goth fashion, (thank god for modern technology) and scrolled through the images before I felt I had a decent grasp on it. Black (and maybe some purple). I’m sure there are nuances I didn’t catch, but that at least gave me a base to work from. 

Jessica’s wardrobe, however, did not. So, I grabbed the phone again, and opened the chat with Violet.

Dear, I have run into an issue. What if I don’t have anything cute to wear?

The response was almost immediate. 

Girl, I got you, come over here and we can head over together. 

Why did everything require driving nowadays? 

***

And then I was standing in front of Violet’s apartment building. I shook my head as it felt like it was packed full of cotton, which didn’t really help, but there was nothing else I felt could do anything to help.

I’m here, I texted while walking toward Violet’s apartment. The door was cracked open slightly when I got there, so I let myself in,

“Hello?” I called out, and took a moment to appreciate her apartment. There were cute decorations all throughout, with shelves covered in small trinkets all over. The most startling though was the amount of eyes in her decorations. No matter where you looked there was something looking back. 

“Come on back and let’s find you something cute,” Violet called from deeper in her apartment. 

I hurried back, and saw her bed covered in various outfits. Her bedroom could have passed for a witch’s workshop deep in the woods. There were art prints on the wall that made my face heat up, and vines hanging around the window from the ceiling. There were occult symbols, a gorgeous black vanity, and a huge canopy bed. 

Maybe I could pay Violet to help decorate Jessica’s apartment? 

“I’m so glad you came over, now you can help me pick out an outfit too,” Violet said while rummaging through her closet. “I know that you’re a bit bigger than I am, but I’m sure that I have some options that’ll fit you. Did you have a particular vibe in mind?” 

“Um, I’m not really sure,” I said, still trying to catch up to everything that was going on. 

“I’ll pick out a few options and then we can go from there,” Violet dove back into her closet. “I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t actually expecting you to take me up on either offer. I thought you might’ve been trying to soft cancel the plans this evening when you texted.” 

“Why would I do that? I’m excited to spend time with you.” 

“It’s just that every time something doesn’t include Avery, or if it’s something he might not like, you just end up not doing it. I’ve really just missed getting to spend time with you.” 

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, and I avoided looking at the paintings on the wall, but instead just focused on the little trinkets on her vanity. There was a small purple pin with grass reaching up like hands, and the saying “Remember, when you touch the grass, the grass is touching you right back.” 

I was sitting in the passenger seat, and the world blurred in the windows around through the water in my eyes, and I was laughing so hard that my lungs hurt. Violet pulled the car to the side of the highway, and her head fell onto my shoulder as neither of us could manage to stop laughing. 

“Enjoy your night while you can, and thank you for listening to the Empty Archives,” the smooth, calm voice said over the car’s radio. 

“I miss that podcast,” Violet said, and I almost collided with her as I jumped. “I still listen to their old episodes to fall asleep some nights.” 

“Those were some good times,” I said. My chest felt hollow, like something precious had been scooped out of me, and lost through a storm drain. 

I’m not really sure what bothered me more; the feeling itself, or that it was someone else’s feelings intruding on me. 

“Okay, here’s what I’ve got,” Violet said and laid out three potential outfits. One was a pretty simple black dress with cross hatching over the chest, then there was a black tank top with a plethora of eyes on it and ripped black jeans, and the last was a dark green tank top with a frog on it, and a black skirt with an excess of chains dangling from it. All of them would mean showing so much skin, and I could feel my face heating up at the thought of going out in public with so little clothing on. 

I decided on trying the black dress, since it was the most modest choice of the three. While I was getting dressed, and working on my make up, which involved some improvising to get some orange color correction for the body’s facial hair. In the meantime, Violet also found some bat earrings for us to wear, and a coffin necklace to finish my outfit. 

“You look so cute,” Violet squealed as I stood up and started to look at myself in the mirror, and I had to admit. While this wasn’t my body, and it was uncomfortable to see the wrong reflection, that the result was beautiful, even if there was way too much skin showing. 

I’ll be honest, I was looking at the body in every reflective service we passed on the way to Violet’s car, but I managed to resist just staring at the body in the visor mirror. 

We listened to an episode of the Empty Archive on the way, and it felt like laying down in bed after a long day, and I couldn’t help but wonder how much of my emotions were mine and how much were just from the body that I was inhabiting. 

Before I knew it, we were at the market, and the amount of people, stalls and trinkets was overwhelming. I turned to ask Violet where she wanted to start, but she had disappeared. Should I go search for her? Is this how they normally interacted? I considered calling her, or at least texting her, but I also didn’t want to ruin her time at the market. 

So, I started to wander along the stalls, and looked through the various trinkets, earrings, clothes, and stickers that people were selling. Admittedly, I was also looking for a quiet space where I might be able to just take a moment to breathe. That’s when my phone started buzzing. 

“Are you really going to just ignore me?” Avery said over the phone. 

“I’m sorry, I haven’t checked the phone in a minute,” I said.

“Right? Well, when are you going to be home?” 

“I’m not really sure, Violet gave me a ride her, so when I find her again, and when she’s done here.” 

“Oh my god, you always do this.” 

I tried to keep listening as he continued to rant, but I didn’t understand why he was so upset, and I could feel my thoughts getting cloudier and harder to focus on. He said for me to do what I wanted, and he was going to be spending time with his friends? I felt dizzy, and I could no longer focus on the market around me.